The Anatomy of a Prank

Our pastor (Chris Hawks) and his wife had thier second baby on Thursday. When I was visiting them at the hospital I asked him if there was anything that I could do for them. He replied that I could preach for him on Sunday Morning. I told him that I'd have it covered. I would just let them all watch a movie during the Sunday Morning worship service. I suggested "Homeward Bound II"

He laughed it off. He seemed confident that I wouldn't actually do something like that. I don't like for people to think they know me well enough to assume anything.

So on Sunday morning before I began my message I told the church about my conversation with Chris at the hospital and I simply asked them to tell Chris, if he asked how the service went, that I had showed them the movie Homeward Bound II.

Oh, but I under-estimated the comedic skills of my church...

That afternoon was Chris and Heather's baby shower. I had completely forgotten about it. Chris was there and when he asked how the service went they all began to describe how much they enjoyed seeing Homeward Bound II. Men, women and children alike all played along. From Middle Schooler to Senior Citizen the unified tale of Sunday morning cinema became something completely believable. It was even suggested that we watch "The Little Mermaid" the following Sunday.

Chris called me that evening. He was suprised at the overwhelmingly positive response to the film. He even mentioned that everyone seemed to remember my scripture reference for the morning (some quick-thinking person referenced the passage that I used in the actual sermon). He said that I needed to "go with my strengths." I agreed, and said that "pushing play" was definently one of my strengths. I explained to him that people have different methods of learning and some people just need a more multi-media experience for a message to effectively communicated. Sometimes a talking dog can speak to people in a way that a preacher can't.

Monday night I got a call from Debbie, one of the youth team leaders, and she said her husband had been at the Church and Chris had asked him again about Sunday morning. He continued to play the "Homeward Bound" line.

I'm completely impressed with my church. I think that just about everyone has gotten in on the joke and no one has spilled the beans yet. Apparently, they've managed not to contradict each other and, they've all delivered the story convincingly. It's truly amazing to behold.

Apparently, Chris finally got the truth out of Debbie today. He told her that I had spilled the whole story on this here blog. Very clever Chris.

The Press LOVES This Guy!

How else do you explain their constant fascination with the Rev. Fred Phelps? The guy is the leader of a church with no denominational backing that consists mainly of his own children and grandchildren. He represents no one but for some reason the whacko gets national attention for is views on homosexuality.

He used to bring his family to picket the funerals of people who died of AIDS. They would shout at the mourning family and carry signs that said "God Hates Fags." Believe it not, he's been able to come up with a cause that is even more perverse. Now he protests at the funerals of soldiers because they "defend a country that harbors gays."

My Way News: Anti-Gay Church Protests at GI Funerals

1:00 am

It's 1:00 in the morning and I'm writing my sermon for tomorrow morning... uh I mean for today. It's tentatively titled, "Is it any wonder that we've lost our sense of wonder?"

I think I'm about half done and like most things I write, it's rather wanting for a happy conclusion.

I know you think that I shouldn't have procrastinated and put this off until the last minute. Really I didn't know I'd be doing this until Wednesday. That's when Chris told me they'd induce his wife's labor on Thursday.

Since then I've thought a lot about what I wanted to say but it wasn't until I finally sat down tonight to prepare that God began to show me what he wants to say. So whatever the conclusion is I know it's going to be good. I must admit that I'm little worried that I'll be able to deliver it well on the few hours of sleep that I'm going to get tonight.

As if we really needed scientific confirmation...

Men are smarter than women.

The academics used a test which is said to measure "general cognitive ability" - spatial and verbal ability.

As intelligence scores among the study group rose, the academics say they found a widening gap between the sexes.

There were twice as many men with IQ scores of 125, for example, a level said to correspond with people getting first-class degrees.

At scores of 155, associated with genius, there were 5.5 men for every woman.

BBC: 'Men cleverer than women' claim

Google Talk

Google has entered the Instant Messaging arena with their new chat client "Google Talk."

Slashdot readers reported yesterday that the service was available by Jabber (open source instant messaging platform) and you could access it through multi-chat client GAIM. This morning Google's own program and official site is now online.

Web link: Google Talk

Somebody put a muzzle on Pat!

I don't think Pat Robertson is a bad man. Most of the time I agree with him. In fact, I agree that Hugo Chavez is a nut job and the sooner his presidency ends in Venezuela the better.

But why in the world would Pat Robertson suggest that the United States government should assassinate Chavez? As a very public representative of Christ, Pat should have chosen his words more carefully. But, this current controversy isn't the first time that Pat's mouth has gotten him in trouble. I mean just try to take Pat's commentaries on CBN and imagine the words coming out of Jesus' mouth and you'll instantly see the problem.

Pat's personal politics don't really conflict with the teachings of the Bible but they aren't always based in those teachings either. But the general public doesn't usually see the difference. They equate televangelists like Robertson with Christianity in general and don't examine either close enough to know when Robertson is speaking from his religious principals or from his political convictions.

The teachings of Jesus and His disciples don't establish democracy or capitalism as "Christian" ideologies. In fact, they are pretty indifferent towards the role of government in general. So why is it that conservative politics are so closely associated with Christianity? Many Christians are also conservative in the political thinking but the two rarely cross. Social issues like abortion, religious expression and sex education have faith based under-pinnings but how do tax policy, free trade and the assassination of foreign leaders become "Christian" issues?

I think Christians should be informed and have opinions on such issues but you'd probably be hard pressed to validate those opinions with scripture. I think sometimes Pat Robertson needs to make a clearer distinction between his political opinions and the teachings of the Bible. He blurs the line between preacher and politician and every time he puts his foot in his mouth he hurts the witness of rest of us that call ourselves Christians.

New York Times: Robertson Is Pilloried for Assassination Call
CBN: Hugo Chavez vs. America
UPDATE: Robertson spins
UPDATED AGAIN: Pat apologizes

Marginalizing Evangelicals

I've been listening to a lot of NPR lately. I guess I'd just about heard everything the conservative commentators had to say on talk radio and I decided to see the view from the other side. Although NPR tries to play the objective news outlet the editorial commentaries are almost completely one-sided. I also tuned in Air America radio online and started reading more blogs.

There is a unified refrain coming these liberal voices, "Stop the evangelicals!" It's hard to attack Christianity when almost 80% of the general population would label themselves as such. If you're going to bully somebody it's certainly not going to be someone bigger than you. Here's where the evangelicals come in, they only make up 7% of the overall population in the US.

Evangelicals are being to set up as the religious lunatic fringe in America. The label is frequently associated with abortion clinic bomber Eric Rudolph. Evangelicals apparently have a lot of political power too. It seems that they are almost solely responsible for the Republican majority in Congress and two terms of the Bush presidency. If they get their way they will take over the Supreme Court through Bush's nominations and complete the transition of the US from representative democracy to theocracy. I recently read a blogger refer to "Talibaptists" and that pretty well thumbnails what the socio-political left wants you to believe about evangelicals. To them this 7% of the population is the American equivalent of Islamic Jihadists. Oh, and they're intolerant rednecks too! There is a greater concentration of evangelicals in the South. And they just won't get out of the way and let gay people get married.

That's how evangelicals are being presented in the media. Here's what you really need to know.

Evangelicals are deeply spiritual people. 9 out of 10 of them study their Bible through the week. They know what the Bible says because they read it and, here's the kicker, they believe it.

their faith is very important in their life today; contending that they have a personal responsibility to share their religious beliefs about Christ with non-Christians; stating that Satan exists; maintaining that eternal salvation is possible only through grace, not by being good or doing good deeds; asserting that Jesus Christ lived a sinless life on earth; saying that the Bible is totally accurate in all it teaches; and describing God as the all-knowing, all-powerful, perfect deity who created the universe and still rules it today.

That is the so-called "extremist" world view that some liberals claim is equivalent to that of the people who flew airplanes into the twin towers. So when you listen to the news and you hear "evangelicals" and "Christians" referred to as if they were two separate and distinct groups just ask yourself, "are they really?" Or, is the term "Evangelical" just a straw man caricature that liberals can blame for the failure of their own ideology?

Statistics on Christianity in America: The Barna Group